Displaced dreams...

Well, here I am again up in New England. My second most favorite place in the country. But I have to say after driving through the inescapable rain for three hours today; I can clearly tell you that I like New England a whole lot better in the summer sun. During most of our visits we've been blessed with warm sunshine. The rainy days have definitely dampened my enthusiasm for this place a little. Also, I've never been up here in the dead of winter. Never intend to, either.

The reason I am back here for a few days is to drop off a chipper 8-year-old who is beginning another magical three and 1/2 week escape from reality. She is attending summer camp for her second summer in a row. Real, authentic summer camp. Sleep-away summer camp. Summer camp at a place that has been host to thousands of young girls her age over almost 100 summer seasons. Summer camp pretty much in the place where summer camp was invented. Camp with daily swimming on the lake. Archery. Arts & Crafts. Uniforms. Singing. Tents. A garden where you can eat the veggies right off the vine. It's rustic. Bucolic. It's exactly what I pictured when I first found the brochures when she was maybe four years old. It's exactly where I would have loved to have gone if I had been given the opportunity.

So lately, instead of just living vicariously through her, I've been dreaming about making up my very own "Summer Camp," concocting plans in my head for an annual escape to New England -- Vermont specifically. We would buy a little cottage on the lake, or at least on a stream. Maybe a place with it's own private little pond. A cute place, a little rustic, no A/C, lots of land so we can plant a garden and maybe have a few pets.

But what dawned on me today is that our family is in NO WAY ready for the realities of a second home. Financially. Mentally. Work-wise. Physically. Shit, it's hard enough to keep up with one house, our 5-acres where the business resides and a freakin' rental condo. How would we manage another place thousands of miles away from home? Why would we tie up so much money for something we could barely use?

I learned a lesson today. My dreams are somewhat displaced sometimes. But that is OK. Dreams and goals change over time. Maybe when retirement nears we'll still want a little cottage in Vermont to escape the steamy Florida summers. But, then again, maybe we won't. Either way, I'll be OK with it. In the meantime, I'll just remember that I live a charmed life in a beautiful city. And be thankful for all that I have.

Three Years Later...

It's hard to comprehend that the last time I wrote a blog entry the kids were entering second grade and kindergarten. I now have a soon-to-be fifth grader and third grader. Jake is so big he can wear my shoes. I've just glossed over three of the busiest years of our lives... a time during which we launched a new company -- People at Play that we operate over the weekends allowing individuals and groups to operate (our) real construction equipment for fun. All that while keeping the other company going... and the family life on track... as well as can be expected.

I've struggled with weight gain and celebrated weight loss... enjoyed great moments with the kids and  lived through dark Mommy-low-points, that I am guessing we all go through. I learned what it was like to lose a parent; my Dad passed away in March of 2011... and also the sadness of losing a good friend.

I am coming out the other end of all this whole. I am also coming to terms with the fact that at 42 I do, really, truly, know what I want out of life and am not going to worry about what I don't want. I am releasing bad and focusing on the good. I am going to attempt to keep this blog on track, as I feel it gives me a good outlet for self expression... and it's a hell of a lot easier than keeping a diary.

Happy Summer, Folks! Here's to more paddle boarding, sand in your toes, vacations, grilled dinners and lazy afternoons by the pool.